The Fighter

Oh my God. I swear, on all that is viewed as holy and sacred in this world, that if The Social Network wins Best Picture at the Oscars, I'm boarding the next flight to LA and burning the Academy to the ground. After seeing three of the competing films, I am 100% certain that The Social Network is quite possibly the worst of them all. And The Fighter is the best...

Oh my God. Oh MY GOD, it was brilliant! Someone get me a laminator, I'm making me a brand new Marky Mark lunchbox. He is so freakin' amazing, I can't even begin to express it. I'm now even more enraged that he is not nominated for Best Actor. He wouldn't win, we all know Col 'Older than my dad' Firth will win, but he deserves a nomination. More than Jesse freakin' Eisenberg anyway... I loved it! I loved it so much. Yes, I think that most of the hysteria in my tone is due to the fact that Mark Wahlberg is painfully attractive, but even so, the film itself was just unbelievable.

Amy Adams was even good. And I hate her. Melissa Leo deserves every award she gets - she's amazing. And they may as well just hand Christian Bale the award now so he doesn't have to show up and pretend to enjoy himself. Although I am greatly looking forward to another psychotic acceptance speech. He made the film. He was genuinely fantastic. I don't even know what else to say... When something is this good, you have to fight the urge to gush like a lunatic to avoid making a total knob of yourself. But all I can do is gush. The entire cast was amazing. From his dad, to Sugar Ray Leonard's cameo, to the sisters, to the police man.

When they broke his hand, I was so upset. It was genuinely a devastating moment. All he wanted to do was protect his brother and they brake his hand and arrest him. So tragic. And when he cried! I refuse, after this film in particular, to ever take abuse about Mark Wahlberg's acting ever again. He's Oscar nominated for Christ's sake! You cannot see this film and leave with the opinion that he cannot act. He can. And he can do it better than the entire cast of The Social Network, I'll tell you that for nothing. The thing I love about Mark Wahlberg is that he always plays the part down. It's probably why he hasn't won an Oscar, yet. But I love that about him. He doesn't try and oversell the character. He makes the character real. And I always think it's harder to play a character that is for all intents and purposes, 'normal'. I would never wish to take away from Christian Bale's performance, but he was playing a crack addict. There's stuff to work on there. When you're playing a normal guy, it's easier to make the character feel contrived and look like you're trying to hard. Can you tell I did AS Level Drama? But Micky felt very real. Bravo, Marky Mark!

It was funny, it was sad, it was tense. For his last fight, I was literally on the edge of my seat, telepathically willing him on to win. All I could think was, 'If he doesn't win, I'm walking out right now, I don't care what happened in real life, he has to win in the film.' I think I actually applauded. I was grinning from ear to ear.

Now The King's Speech is one hell of an uplifting film, from start to finish, but the overwhelming sense of redemption and relief and joy at the climax of this film, would beat The King's Speech to the ground any day. It would literally throw it to the floor and stamp on it. Triumph. Triumphant is a good way to describe it, in all sense of the word's meaning. I think that because it was real, and because Marky Mark was so passionate about it, and loved Micky and Dicky so much and the way it was directed, it felt as though they wanted to make the film to genuinely tell the story. And it's such a great story. And it was so realistic. Even the fighting, The fighting was unreal, actual fighting. And whilst at times I was screaming (in my head of course), 'No! Not his beautiful face! Get off his beautiful face!' it was totally necessary. It's obviously choreographed to ensure that they don't kill each other, but if it had been completely staged, a la WWE, then it would have ruined the whole film. Everything about it was authentic. Oh my God, I freakin' LOVED IT!

I am now going to become a boxer. Casual jab here, casual jab there. I think I'd be excellent.

There was only one thing that let it down. One thing. And I wasn't even going to mention it, but I'm going to. At the end, when they go to 'London' to fight that guy, Shea Neary. Yeah... That was... interesting. Liverpool's finest... I have no idea who or what the actor was trying to portray, but it was no Scouse Irishman. Perhaps a Scottish retard. I don't know. But his accent was beyond terrible. Just appalling. I do believe the phrase 'embarrassing for everyone involved' was used. Having said that, his speaking part was very small and Marky Mark beat the shit out of him anyway, so it was fine. Probably for ruining to film.

I think I have quite possibly made this film sound dreadful. But I can assure you that it is not. I can also guarantee that it is the best film I have seen so far this year, and I am desperate to see it again. My final guarantee is that the Academy will be receiving a particularly angry letter when they choose The Social Network, because it doesn't even begin to try and compare to the genius that is The Fighter.