Thou must brusheth thy hair.

Dear Serena Van Der Woodsen,
Please invest your millions and millions of dollars into a hair brush. I do not believe them to be that expensive and the cost is worth it to avoid looking like you have road kill on your head as you currently do.
Thanks,
Alice.

I hate her. I actually hate her. How old is she meant to be? Isn't she meant to be in college? Isn't she meant to be actually doing something other than lunching with possible psychopaths and irritating the shit out of everyone?!

I'm so confused as to the point of the show anymore. It's beyond ludicrous. I can't even be bothered to slag it off. Other than the excellent plot line of Damien convincing Eric to punch him in the face to frame Ben, get him put back in jail and avoid him telling his dad he's a drug dealer. Worst plan ever. Most pointless plan ever. I thought that maybe Damien had something to go on. Maybe he knew a secret side to Ben, which there obviously will be because he's so freakin' dull right now. But alas, he was just trying to avoid being cut off by his father. And for some reason, Dan got roped in because he is the world's biggest loser, a clear idiot and the most gullible, moronic twat ever to step foot on this earth. And then Ben didn't feel the need to defend himself. No, off he goes back to prison with his parole officer. Hang on, let's go back a bit. I thought Dan was in on the whole plan, but no, he's stupid enough not even to go along with framing him, but to believe something told to him by a known drug dealer who he knows he cannot trust without any evidence at all. DICK! But yes, off Ben goes.

Oh wait... Because Dan's got so much pull with the police, he was able to explain and get Ben back and bring him and Serena together. Fantastic. Slash... No one cares. All I can say is that Blair and Chuck better get back together soon or else there is literally nothing worth watching the show for anymore.

Come on, Josh Schwartz! We love you! Don't let us down... Or else...

Dear Josh Schwartz...

I love you. You gave me The OC, and for that I will be eternally grateful, but WTF?! You can try all you want to fool us with the pretty clothes and the sparkles and the money, but I see right through you. I mean, why are Serena and Blair even friends?! No! It would never happen! Get rid of Serena, I hate her. Seriously, just write her out. And get a new baddie! I'm sure Michelle Tratenberg is thrilled with the role, but does she really need to appear every third episode to 'stir it up'? Erm... let me think about that... NO!
Love from Alice.
PS. Bring back The OC.

The first episode of a new season is meant to be exciting, not a complete and utter snoozefest. Yes, it was in Paris. Yes, there were nice clothes, but even then most of them bordered on hideous. If Gossip Girl is good for one thing it's nice clothes, yet Serena insists, INSISTS on dressing like a complete slag all the time. WHERE WERE HER PANTS? Why is everyone in love with her? Why? Yes she is beautiful, but she is so far beyond annyoing it hurts. I can't even begin to go into how much she irritates me because I'll throw the computer through the window, run downstairs and stamp on it repeatedly. I have, however, been led to believe that the next episode is DA BOMB, which fills me with hope. But even if it was as tremendously boring as this episode, I'd watch it religiously anyway, just in fear of actually missing something good. I still have faith, Josh, don't you worry.