I don't quite know how to say this without being severely judged for the rest of eternity. I don't know whether it's because I'm tired, whether it's because One Tree Hill is now a distant memory of crappy TV past, or whether I have ODed on leftover Easter chocolate, but I'm actually enjoying 90210...
Now, here's why I'm worried. After catching up on the last 2 episodes which saw Dixon become bezzies with Snoop Dogg, the guys take Teddy to a gay bar to cheer him up, Adrianna send a naked photo of Silver to everyone at school, Naomi dress up as an Avatar and Annie get the better of someone, I should have slit my wrists over my computer screen and written a farewell message to my mother in my own blood. Instead, I'm actually excited about the next episode. What, in the name of Justin Drew Bieber, is wrong with me? I'm being serious. There must be some medical condition behind this bout of insanity. Christ, I hope it's temporary. I mean, Liam hasn't taken his shirt off for weeks.
So, even though Annie makes me want to scratch my skin off with blunt scissors, I actually prefer her to Emily. This is what first aroused suspicion in my mind. I mean, anyone wanting to destroy the life of the most irritating character would surely be celebrated. False. Unfortunately, I think the only reason I hated her more was because of her hair and her voice. So if they'd just cast someone else, I wouldn't be in the mess I currently find myself in. Or if the actress they chose (if you could really call her an actress - she was abysmal) had just spoken a tiny bit lower and worn a wig, all my problems would have been solved. Alas! But I'm glad she's gone, even if they did catch her out in the most pathetic of ways. A bit of drama wouldn't have gone amiss. I do enjoy that all Annie's friends believed Emily and thought she was being a bitch though. That's loyalty for you. It was pretty obvious that Emily was a Liam Payne in the arse. And I'm still not quite sure why she was so intent upon ruining Annie's life. Did we ever get a reason? No...? Just another pointless storyline then. Should have guessed.
Naomi has clearly never watched Desperate Housewives, because if she had, she'd realise that the dwarf of a 'nerd' she's going after is actually a psychotic killer with greasy hair. And also, he's not attractive in anyway. And if dressing up like an Avatar shows that a person is really selfless and caring, then I'm not the only person in the world to have completely lost my mind.
Dear Snoop Dogg,
I expected this nonsense from Nelly, but you!? I hope you are deeply ashamed of yourself.
Alice. x
Why are they trying to make out like Dixon is some sort of social whizz? He's an idiot and he gets on people's nerves. He couldn't pay me to do something for him, let alone convince me with his 'quick wit'. Just terrible. And as if Snoop Dogg just invites strangers into his car and drives them around! Let alone strangers that insist upon rapping his songs in thee most socially awkward and embarrassing attempt to impress. Come on, Snoop! Don't let this show dent your rep. You've got your own show to do that! God, I miss Snoop Dogg's Fatherhood...
Silver is an idiot. Adrianna needs to be kicked repeatedly in the face until her eye sockets swell causing her eye balls explode inside her head. Let's be realistic. Why does she still have friends? How could any one of those idiotic people still be her friend? They all hate her. What's even more tragic is that she thinks she's going to have a genuine music career in real life. Oh, bless her. It actually makes me quite sad. And sending a naked photo of Silver around? Good one...
So now Ivy's well into weed, her boyfriend of about 3 seconds is dying of cancer. Tragic. I actually like him. Raj? Raj. His name is Raj. Or it will be from henceforth. I enjoy that he has literally been in 2 episodes and he's already got a terminal disease. Well, I don't enjoy it because it would be tragic if it were real, but I enjoy the 90210ness of the whole situation. I bet Ivy becomes a model student now. Or, he'll die unexpectedly in 2 episodes time and she'll go schiz! Or he'll just leave in a really underwhelming fashion. He'll leave in a really underwhelming fashion, won't he? Bastard 90210.
Maybe I'm not enjoying it as much as I thought... And why does Mr Matthews only show up in every 4th episode with no purpose or reason to exist? Yeah, maybe hold off on the loony bin, I'm beginning to see the light.
Showing posts with label Liam. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liam. Show all posts
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Wednesday, 12 January 2011
Whilst I'm here...
Can we please discuss 90210?
I genuinely couldn't think it could get any worse, but I am now developing some sort of addiction I'm currently attributing to the fact that there is no One Tree Hill on at the moment and they have slipped some subliminal messaging into their title sequence.
This week was painfully uninteresting. I genuinely don't think anything happened. Except of course for Silver throwing a fit over the fact that Teddy had a drink and convincing herself he's an alcoholic. But I'm personally putting this down to the fact that she's bipolar. I think we all remember when she lost her mind, filmed her and Dixon having sex in a store room and then screened it as a film and then was diagnosed as bipolar instead of being locked in an asylum where she belongs. I'm disliking how she is almost central to all story lines at the moment. Why does she have to be involved in everything? And she seems to have stolen an old lady's wardrobe and wig. Not a great look for someone who is trying to play 17.
Last week however was excellent. Of course we had the earthquake. Classic. The introduction of Oscar, the world's worst fake English person ever. We had Annie casually strolling into school after being on house arrest after killing a man in a hit and run accident and lying about it for a year, and Adrianna stealing the personal belongings of the dead. Nice.
Oscar is going to be an issue for me. I could have dealt with the awful accent, although it causes me great offence. However, his scripting has resulted in physical symptoms. I must be allergic, it's definitely the beginnings of anaphylactic shock. I think we all know the scene I'm talking about. Ivy's casual afternoon sex dream in which she is kissing Oscar on her bed and he ever so romantically whispers, sorry, stage whispers, 'I'm so happy to have shared my first earthquake with you. Earthquake being a euphemism for orgasm.' WHAT?! WHAT?! Words fail me. I can't even think about that scene without throwing my limbs around in sheer disgust. There are so many issues with that line I don't even know where to begin. 1) How, in anyone's mind, is that sexy? 2) What kind of deranged human being would ever say that? 3) Who was allowed to write that into the script?
I think point 3 is the most interesting of all. Let's investigate shall we... Jennie Snyder. I would have bet a gazillion of our great English pounds that it would have been a man. But alas. What's worse is that she wrote Gilmore Girls. She has forever ruined that show for me. You bitch, Jennie Snyder. I can't even think about it any more, I'll genuinely be forced to throw myself out my window. It's literally traumatising. She actually wrote that, gave it to the producers, they read it, and genuinely went, 'Wow, that's genius. Gold, right there! We're definitely going to win an Emmy this year! Jennie, you're so talented.'
I am much looking forward to finding out about Liam and his brother. I hope they realise they are not the same colour, otherwise that is the worst casting I have ever seen. I'm sure this will be explained, along with why Liam hates him. I'm pretty sure they'd run out of ideas for Liam short of taking his shirt off, and at the last minute grabbed a poor unwitting man off the street and thrust him into one of the most arguably pointless story lines of all time. Having said that, I don't know what happens. I'm just assuming it's boring, like the rest of the show. At least Liam is vaguely entertaining, his entertainment coming in the form of his face, but it physically repels me to see him with Annie. I can't stand her stupid whiny idiotic nonsense. She should be in jail for God's sake! She is a murderer! Why does no one remember that!?
Give me Hayley 'I'm so famous' Scott any day of the week.
I genuinely couldn't think it could get any worse, but I am now developing some sort of addiction I'm currently attributing to the fact that there is no One Tree Hill on at the moment and they have slipped some subliminal messaging into their title sequence.
This week was painfully uninteresting. I genuinely don't think anything happened. Except of course for Silver throwing a fit over the fact that Teddy had a drink and convincing herself he's an alcoholic. But I'm personally putting this down to the fact that she's bipolar. I think we all remember when she lost her mind, filmed her and Dixon having sex in a store room and then screened it as a film and then was diagnosed as bipolar instead of being locked in an asylum where she belongs. I'm disliking how she is almost central to all story lines at the moment. Why does she have to be involved in everything? And she seems to have stolen an old lady's wardrobe and wig. Not a great look for someone who is trying to play 17.
Last week however was excellent. Of course we had the earthquake. Classic. The introduction of Oscar, the world's worst fake English person ever. We had Annie casually strolling into school after being on house arrest after killing a man in a hit and run accident and lying about it for a year, and Adrianna stealing the personal belongings of the dead. Nice.
Oscar is going to be an issue for me. I could have dealt with the awful accent, although it causes me great offence. However, his scripting has resulted in physical symptoms. I must be allergic, it's definitely the beginnings of anaphylactic shock. I think we all know the scene I'm talking about. Ivy's casual afternoon sex dream in which she is kissing Oscar on her bed and he ever so romantically whispers, sorry, stage whispers, 'I'm so happy to have shared my first earthquake with you. Earthquake being a euphemism for orgasm.' WHAT?! WHAT?! Words fail me. I can't even think about that scene without throwing my limbs around in sheer disgust. There are so many issues with that line I don't even know where to begin. 1) How, in anyone's mind, is that sexy? 2) What kind of deranged human being would ever say that? 3) Who was allowed to write that into the script?
I think point 3 is the most interesting of all. Let's investigate shall we... Jennie Snyder. I would have bet a gazillion of our great English pounds that it would have been a man. But alas. What's worse is that she wrote Gilmore Girls. She has forever ruined that show for me. You bitch, Jennie Snyder. I can't even think about it any more, I'll genuinely be forced to throw myself out my window. It's literally traumatising. She actually wrote that, gave it to the producers, they read it, and genuinely went, 'Wow, that's genius. Gold, right there! We're definitely going to win an Emmy this year! Jennie, you're so talented.'
I am much looking forward to finding out about Liam and his brother. I hope they realise they are not the same colour, otherwise that is the worst casting I have ever seen. I'm sure this will be explained, along with why Liam hates him. I'm pretty sure they'd run out of ideas for Liam short of taking his shirt off, and at the last minute grabbed a poor unwitting man off the street and thrust him into one of the most arguably pointless story lines of all time. Having said that, I don't know what happens. I'm just assuming it's boring, like the rest of the show. At least Liam is vaguely entertaining, his entertainment coming in the form of his face, but it physically repels me to see him with Annie. I can't stand her stupid whiny idiotic nonsense. She should be in jail for God's sake! She is a murderer! Why does no one remember that!?
Give me Hayley 'I'm so famous' Scott any day of the week.
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