Can we please discuss 90210?
I genuinely couldn't think it could get any worse, but I am now developing some sort of addiction I'm currently attributing to the fact that there is no One Tree Hill on at the moment and they have slipped some subliminal messaging into their title sequence.
This week was painfully uninteresting. I genuinely don't think anything happened. Except of course for Silver throwing a fit over the fact that Teddy had a drink and convincing herself he's an alcoholic. But I'm personally putting this down to the fact that she's bipolar. I think we all remember when she lost her mind, filmed her and Dixon having sex in a store room and then screened it as a film and then was diagnosed as bipolar instead of being locked in an asylum where she belongs. I'm disliking how she is almost central to all story lines at the moment. Why does she have to be involved in everything? And she seems to have stolen an old lady's wardrobe and wig. Not a great look for someone who is trying to play 17.
Last week however was excellent. Of course we had the earthquake. Classic. The introduction of Oscar, the world's worst fake English person ever. We had Annie casually strolling into school after being on house arrest after killing a man in a hit and run accident and lying about it for a year, and Adrianna stealing the personal belongings of the dead. Nice.
Oscar is going to be an issue for me. I could have dealt with the awful accent, although it causes me great offence. However, his scripting has resulted in physical symptoms. I must be allergic, it's definitely the beginnings of anaphylactic shock. I think we all know the scene I'm talking about. Ivy's casual afternoon sex dream in which she is kissing Oscar on her bed and he ever so romantically whispers, sorry, stage whispers, 'I'm so happy to have shared my first earthquake with you. Earthquake being a euphemism for orgasm.' WHAT?! WHAT?! Words fail me. I can't even think about that scene without throwing my limbs around in sheer disgust. There are so many issues with that line I don't even know where to begin. 1) How, in anyone's mind, is that sexy? 2) What kind of deranged human being would ever say that? 3) Who was allowed to write that into the script?
I think point 3 is the most interesting of all. Let's investigate shall we... Jennie Snyder. I would have bet a gazillion of our great English pounds that it would have been a man. But alas. What's worse is that she wrote Gilmore Girls. She has forever ruined that show for me. You bitch, Jennie Snyder. I can't even think about it any more, I'll genuinely be forced to throw myself out my window. It's literally traumatising. She actually wrote that, gave it to the producers, they read it, and genuinely went, 'Wow, that's genius. Gold, right there! We're definitely going to win an Emmy this year! Jennie, you're so talented.'
I am much looking forward to finding out about Liam and his brother. I hope they realise they are not the same colour, otherwise that is the worst casting I have ever seen. I'm sure this will be explained, along with why Liam hates him. I'm pretty sure they'd run out of ideas for Liam short of taking his shirt off, and at the last minute grabbed a poor unwitting man off the street and thrust him into one of the most arguably pointless story lines of all time. Having said that, I don't know what happens. I'm just assuming it's boring, like the rest of the show. At least Liam is vaguely entertaining, his entertainment coming in the form of his face, but it physically repels me to see him with Annie. I can't stand her stupid whiny idiotic nonsense. She should be in jail for God's sake! She is a murderer! Why does no one remember that!?
Give me Hayley 'I'm so famous' Scott any day of the week.
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