Whilst I am aware that this is rapidly deteriorating into some sort of pathetic X Factor blog, until it ends, and they put something else decent on the television, I feel there is no end in sight for my hideously uninteresting ramblings about everyone's favourite reality show. Slash, I just want to turn my attention to the real X Factor blog...
xfactorblog.co.uk is quite possibly the least reliable website in the history of the internet. I'm more likely to trust spam email from the King of Nigeria than I am to trust the X Factor blog. It is always wrong. ALWAYS. And whilst I understand that there will be numerous sources involved in getting track information midweek and that acts always switch songs at the last minute, I hate, no, I abhor the fact that it gets my hopes up every week, only to send me into a never ending spiral of despair, ruining the overall X Factor experience.
First it told me that One Direction would be singing Justin Bieber. Now, I should have known it was going to be too good to be true, but still, when an idea that genius is put into your head, it's hard to shake, slash, my logic was that it was about bloody time. But of course, when they came out and sand Pink, I almost threw myself out my window. For one, that's not even a guilty pleasure, just a boring song. But the worst thing that X Factor blog have ever done to me happened yesterday...
I got in from having dinner with a friend to a stampede of flatmates running towards me filled with excitement. "I have the best news ever," my friend said. "Justin Bieber?" I enquired. "Better," she replied. What could be better than Bieber, I thought. "One Direction are going to sing The Killers on rock week!" OH. MY. GOD! I was hysterical. To the point of jumping up and down, whilst screaming. Of course, there was arm flapping, spinning, a general loss of control of my body, the norm. And so, for 24 hours, I managed to build and build my hopes of Justin Bieber Boyband singing Somebody Told Me, to the point where I was giggling secretly to myself in delight. Of course, when I checked X Factor blog today, I was sadly informed that they were not in fact singing The Killers, but Bryan Adams. Hmmmm... Now, I love Summer of '69, and they nailed it. Obviously. But, honestly, I was beside myself with disappointment. Just despairing of all that is good in the world. Slash, whilst they were good, I'm going to throw it out there and suggest they weren't as good as usual.
Of course, I still love them. And even though in the second song, only 3 of them sang, they were amazing. And when Simon was all like, "Oh, I'm so proud of you. Especially you Zain 'I'm too cool to dance' Malik, because I remember how embarrassed you were at boot camp and now look at you! And Harry 'from Cheshire' Styles, you chose the song and aren't you all great!" Could their faces have been any cuter from sheer joy?! Well, they're all Biebers, so of course they're cute. Slash, when Asian Bieber was all like, "I just love it so much and to come out here every week with my 5 best friends is just the best," I realised, that whilst he is so painfully beautiful it is actually ludicrous, he's only about 6 and probably didn't even finish learning how to count before being thrust into the lime light. Bless.
Erm... Katie was abysmal. ABYSMAL! I mean, the whole evening was a travesty. Cheryl, for once in her post-Ashley life, actually looked normal, but was she high or something? I mean, she was one step away from jazz hands. "My cute tootey, Cher!" What?! They are the actual words you are choosing to say? Seriously? Sure you don't want to think about it, before you not only embarrass your act, but yourself as well? Cher was awful. Avril Lavigne does not count as rock, and her little Lil Mama rap was not English. I swear she was just saying random words. "B, R, O, O, M...." Riiiiiiggggghhtttt... Didn't realise the song was about sweeping, but whatever.
Matt nailed the second song, Rebecca was quite boring in both, but better than last week, Big Fat Mary needs to go. You know what they should have done? They should have just made it U2 week, most of them sang their songs anyway. Oh, Christ! When Louis was going on about how proud Bono would be of them all. Jesus. I'm pretty sure Bono is drawing up a contract right now to ensure that his songs can never ever be used on the X Factor ever again. Just awful.
I'm going to suggest that whilst Thom Yorke would not think it was a great performance, no matter what Louis says, that it was actually Wagner's best attempt to date. I actually loved that Louis got the words completely wrong and was like, "It's winner, Simon, it says winner in the song." Erm... Pretty sure that's 'weirdo' Louis, but whatever you like to tell yourself to attempt to corner the guilt for putting Wagner into your final 4 when poor little Aiden Grimshaw gets sent home. Bastard.
Konnie Huq is still awful. Dermot is a hero. N Dubz are the biggest cringefest ever. Danny Dyer is the biggest knob ever, but hilarious. And he loves One Direction so that's fine. He gave his daughter his own name, so I'm not entirely certain as to how sound his judgement is. James Corden loves One Direction. Ron freakin Weasley loves One Direction. And that is all I learnt from this instalment of the Xtra Factor.
I don't think I could be more excited about Justin Bieber being on the results show tomorrow. The word on the grapevine is that he's either singing U Smile or Baby. I'm personally routing for a nice little medley a la the VMAs, the performance that sees us in the position we stand today. Good news is, it's probably quite reliable information, I didn't get it from the X Factor blog...
Showing posts with label Rupert Grint. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rupert Grint. Show all posts
Saturday, 27 November 2010
Saturday, 20 November 2010
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 1
OH. MY. GOD.
I love Harry Potter. I always have. Yet, I have always taken great issue with the films. Normally, I would list a number of reasons as to why I hate something, but for this, it has always been simple: they don't follow the books. At all. I mean, I think for the Half Blood Prince, they just made up their own story as they went along. I failed to see any resemblance to the book, which coincidentally is my favourite out of the lot of them. Snape is my hero.
But this one was amazing.
The most tragic thing about the films is that because they had to cast the actors at such a young age, they had no idea that Daniel Radcliffe wouldn't grow past 4 foot 3 and that he would gradually become uglier and uglier until looking at his face became too painful for the human eye, they didn't know Rupert Grint would end up struggling with his weight, they didn't know Emma Watson was going to act the rest of the films using only her eyebrows and become the abomination to acting that she is today. And so, I let them off. I say this as I am currently watching the Philosopher's Stone and although I spent the majority of my childhood filled with a constant rage that boiled inside of me every waking second of the day due to my hatred for the principal cast, I now find myself more irritated by them now than I find them in the earlier films. The Deathly Hallows in particular requires actual emotion to be portrayed, and although they did a semi-decent job, it bewilders me that for the most iconic characters of our generation, the worst actors are playing them. But let's move onto the actual film.
At this stage, I would usually issue some sort of spoiler warning, but even if you haven't seen the film yet, you should know what happens. If you don't, that means that you have never read the book, and therefore I banish you from ever reading this blog again, ever. You disgust me.
My expectations were so low after the destruction of my favourite book that I had prepared myself for the worst. Of course, this didn't stop me getting so over excited that I booked my tickets 4 weeks in advance, picked them up a week early to avoid the queues and then proceed, on the day of its release, to spend hours drawing the Dark Mark on my arm, crafting a Slytherin badge and casting spells on those I saw unfit using my replica Snape wand. That's right, I'm team Voldemort. Actually, I'm more Team Lucius Malfoy, but his team is Voldemort so I follow along.
As the music started, there were squeals all round from my Harry Potter loving companions, but sadly, the classic 'Do do do do do doo doooooo do, do do do do, do dooooooo' lasted all of about 0.53 seconds. First disappointment. But I didn't care. I knew that after waiting a considerable number of years, I'd get to see Malfoy Manor, and that scene was amazing. I am having difficulty trying to understand why The Dark Lord has started speaking in such a calm civilised manner. Not as scary as he used to be... I mean, when he's on the back of Quirrell's head in the first one. Oh my God, that still fills me with terror. But still, amazing. And Lucius Malfoy was amazing. I know Azkaban was meant to fuck him up, but wow. Loved it. What a hero.
It really didn't feel like two and a half hours. It zoomed by. I think it was because I knew where they were going to end it, and so the further they got through the book, the sooner I knew the end was coming and that I would have to wait a ludicrous amount of time before I would get any sort of closure. They say it's to cause excitement, I think it's going to land me in therapy, but whatever.
I don't really know what to say, other than it was really well done. For once. I loved Rhys Ifans, I loved Bill Nighy, I loved Bill Weasley (I did not love the fact that they had to quickly drop in that he had his face ripped off by a werewolf because they were too stupid to put it in the last film), I loved Snape. I loved it all. I loved the animation when they told the tale of the Three Brothers. I did not love Emma Watson's voice over.
The only thing I had a major problem with, apart from the script (but I always have an issue with the script) was the way the story progressed. There was no natural flow like in the book. It was sort of pieced together in bits that the studio obviously classed as 'important to the story'. They were on a cliff, then there was a scenery shot, then they were all of a sudden in a forest, another scenery shot. It was very uninspiring, not very magical. There wasn't enough magic. The others, even though they are so much more lighthearted had a sense of magic throughout. The kind of feeling you get on Christmas Eve. None of that.
Now, back to slagging off the actors. I paid a good chunk of cash to see that film, and I did not pay to see Daniel Radcliffe dance. I was actually having body spasms I was cringing that hard. It actually hurt my body. Errrrgggh! It was painful. I know he's probably taking the piss out of himself and he's in on the joke blah blah blah, but no! Please don't ever make me see something like that ever ever again. Not cool. And the bit where Harry opens the horcrux so Ron can kill it with the sword of Gryffindor and Ron sees Harry and Hermione kissing! Apart from the fact that they were obviously taking a leaf out of the Twilight Book of Bollocks and made them both pale and shiny, why, oh why, did they both have to be naked?! I have never been so repulsed in my entire life. That image will be scarred onto my retina for the rest of time. So foul, so unnecessary. Slash, if Daniel Radcliffe is going to get naked so often, don't you think you should send him to the gym, or at least give him a light fake tan. There was nothing attractive about that visual. Nothing AT ALL. Instead I feel dirty. Gross.
And I know that Michael Gambon is a well famous actor and all that, but how did he get such a high credit when he was in the film for all of a second. And all he did was lie down with his eyes closed. I could have done that and you wouldn't have even had to credit me for it. I can look like Dumbledore if you give me a beard and a wig. Ludicrous.
The two best moments of the film were the sad ones. I really didn't think I'd find it sad because Radcliffe and Arrogant Bitch are so devoid of emotion it hurts, but when they went back to Godric's Hollow and went to the graveyard, I actually sobbed. So tragic. He was actually really good in that bit, I felt for him. "Merry Christmas, Hermione." Oh. My. God. Too sad. And Dobby! Oh, God! Dobby! I can't fucking stand that annoying creature, he's way too much like Jar Jar Binx for my liking, but when he was dying in Harry's arms and he kept going on about how happy he was because he was surrounded by his friends and how nice it is to have friends because he's never had friends before....! Just so sad! One of my fellow Death Eaters said to me, "Are you finding it so sad because you can relate?" I didn't take that kindly.
Dobby actually provided some serious comic relief in a really intense film which was greatly appreciated. When he apparated into the cellar of Malfoy Manor, and Harry, being the idiot he is was like, "Dobby, can you apparate in and out of this cellar?" and Dobby just went, "I'm an elf." Bitch please! OF COURSE HE CAN APPARATE INTO THE CELLAR! Classic.
One of the most underwhelming scenes was the one where Bellatrix was torturing Hermione. I was really looking forward to that for obvious reasons, but felt betrayed. She wasn't tortured enough. I watched the live streaming of the premiere on YouTube and Emma Watson was going on about how clever and amazing she is and how she and "Helena" came up with this really good idea that wasn't in the script that Bellatrix would carve 'mudblood' into Hermione's arm and all the production loved it and thought she was a genius and that she should be made Queen of the World. Firstly, please refer to Helena Bonham Carter with a bit more respect and apart from this story clearly being a load of bollocks, I actually thought it was quite a good idea, but was greatly disappointed to see that she had carved 'mudblood' as though she was a Borrower. I was expecting it to be the full arm, not written in between the lines of an exercise book. Idiot.
Bellatrix was amazing, but that is just a given. As was Draco. I feel sorry for Tom Felton, I feel like he's the best actor of the child lot and no one really cares. I care, Tom. You and your weird shaped head were great.
All I could think though, all the way through, was WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!? Emma Watson is clearly an idiot. Her hair was so nice and now she looks like a child whose blind father cut her hair.
What else? I don't know. I want to see it again now. I never want it to end. Roll on July...
I love Harry Potter. I always have. Yet, I have always taken great issue with the films. Normally, I would list a number of reasons as to why I hate something, but for this, it has always been simple: they don't follow the books. At all. I mean, I think for the Half Blood Prince, they just made up their own story as they went along. I failed to see any resemblance to the book, which coincidentally is my favourite out of the lot of them. Snape is my hero.
But this one was amazing.
The most tragic thing about the films is that because they had to cast the actors at such a young age, they had no idea that Daniel Radcliffe wouldn't grow past 4 foot 3 and that he would gradually become uglier and uglier until looking at his face became too painful for the human eye, they didn't know Rupert Grint would end up struggling with his weight, they didn't know Emma Watson was going to act the rest of the films using only her eyebrows and become the abomination to acting that she is today. And so, I let them off. I say this as I am currently watching the Philosopher's Stone and although I spent the majority of my childhood filled with a constant rage that boiled inside of me every waking second of the day due to my hatred for the principal cast, I now find myself more irritated by them now than I find them in the earlier films. The Deathly Hallows in particular requires actual emotion to be portrayed, and although they did a semi-decent job, it bewilders me that for the most iconic characters of our generation, the worst actors are playing them. But let's move onto the actual film.
At this stage, I would usually issue some sort of spoiler warning, but even if you haven't seen the film yet, you should know what happens. If you don't, that means that you have never read the book, and therefore I banish you from ever reading this blog again, ever. You disgust me.
My expectations were so low after the destruction of my favourite book that I had prepared myself for the worst. Of course, this didn't stop me getting so over excited that I booked my tickets 4 weeks in advance, picked them up a week early to avoid the queues and then proceed, on the day of its release, to spend hours drawing the Dark Mark on my arm, crafting a Slytherin badge and casting spells on those I saw unfit using my replica Snape wand. That's right, I'm team Voldemort. Actually, I'm more Team Lucius Malfoy, but his team is Voldemort so I follow along.
As the music started, there were squeals all round from my Harry Potter loving companions, but sadly, the classic 'Do do do do do doo doooooo do, do do do do, do dooooooo' lasted all of about 0.53 seconds. First disappointment. But I didn't care. I knew that after waiting a considerable number of years, I'd get to see Malfoy Manor, and that scene was amazing. I am having difficulty trying to understand why The Dark Lord has started speaking in such a calm civilised manner. Not as scary as he used to be... I mean, when he's on the back of Quirrell's head in the first one. Oh my God, that still fills me with terror. But still, amazing. And Lucius Malfoy was amazing. I know Azkaban was meant to fuck him up, but wow. Loved it. What a hero.
It really didn't feel like two and a half hours. It zoomed by. I think it was because I knew where they were going to end it, and so the further they got through the book, the sooner I knew the end was coming and that I would have to wait a ludicrous amount of time before I would get any sort of closure. They say it's to cause excitement, I think it's going to land me in therapy, but whatever.
I don't really know what to say, other than it was really well done. For once. I loved Rhys Ifans, I loved Bill Nighy, I loved Bill Weasley (I did not love the fact that they had to quickly drop in that he had his face ripped off by a werewolf because they were too stupid to put it in the last film), I loved Snape. I loved it all. I loved the animation when they told the tale of the Three Brothers. I did not love Emma Watson's voice over.
The only thing I had a major problem with, apart from the script (but I always have an issue with the script) was the way the story progressed. There was no natural flow like in the book. It was sort of pieced together in bits that the studio obviously classed as 'important to the story'. They were on a cliff, then there was a scenery shot, then they were all of a sudden in a forest, another scenery shot. It was very uninspiring, not very magical. There wasn't enough magic. The others, even though they are so much more lighthearted had a sense of magic throughout. The kind of feeling you get on Christmas Eve. None of that.
Now, back to slagging off the actors. I paid a good chunk of cash to see that film, and I did not pay to see Daniel Radcliffe dance. I was actually having body spasms I was cringing that hard. It actually hurt my body. Errrrgggh! It was painful. I know he's probably taking the piss out of himself and he's in on the joke blah blah blah, but no! Please don't ever make me see something like that ever ever again. Not cool. And the bit where Harry opens the horcrux so Ron can kill it with the sword of Gryffindor and Ron sees Harry and Hermione kissing! Apart from the fact that they were obviously taking a leaf out of the Twilight Book of Bollocks and made them both pale and shiny, why, oh why, did they both have to be naked?! I have never been so repulsed in my entire life. That image will be scarred onto my retina for the rest of time. So foul, so unnecessary. Slash, if Daniel Radcliffe is going to get naked so often, don't you think you should send him to the gym, or at least give him a light fake tan. There was nothing attractive about that visual. Nothing AT ALL. Instead I feel dirty. Gross.
And I know that Michael Gambon is a well famous actor and all that, but how did he get such a high credit when he was in the film for all of a second. And all he did was lie down with his eyes closed. I could have done that and you wouldn't have even had to credit me for it. I can look like Dumbledore if you give me a beard and a wig. Ludicrous.
The two best moments of the film were the sad ones. I really didn't think I'd find it sad because Radcliffe and Arrogant Bitch are so devoid of emotion it hurts, but when they went back to Godric's Hollow and went to the graveyard, I actually sobbed. So tragic. He was actually really good in that bit, I felt for him. "Merry Christmas, Hermione." Oh. My. God. Too sad. And Dobby! Oh, God! Dobby! I can't fucking stand that annoying creature, he's way too much like Jar Jar Binx for my liking, but when he was dying in Harry's arms and he kept going on about how happy he was because he was surrounded by his friends and how nice it is to have friends because he's never had friends before....! Just so sad! One of my fellow Death Eaters said to me, "Are you finding it so sad because you can relate?" I didn't take that kindly.
Dobby actually provided some serious comic relief in a really intense film which was greatly appreciated. When he apparated into the cellar of Malfoy Manor, and Harry, being the idiot he is was like, "Dobby, can you apparate in and out of this cellar?" and Dobby just went, "I'm an elf." Bitch please! OF COURSE HE CAN APPARATE INTO THE CELLAR! Classic.
One of the most underwhelming scenes was the one where Bellatrix was torturing Hermione. I was really looking forward to that for obvious reasons, but felt betrayed. She wasn't tortured enough. I watched the live streaming of the premiere on YouTube and Emma Watson was going on about how clever and amazing she is and how she and "Helena" came up with this really good idea that wasn't in the script that Bellatrix would carve 'mudblood' into Hermione's arm and all the production loved it and thought she was a genius and that she should be made Queen of the World. Firstly, please refer to Helena Bonham Carter with a bit more respect and apart from this story clearly being a load of bollocks, I actually thought it was quite a good idea, but was greatly disappointed to see that she had carved 'mudblood' as though she was a Borrower. I was expecting it to be the full arm, not written in between the lines of an exercise book. Idiot.
Bellatrix was amazing, but that is just a given. As was Draco. I feel sorry for Tom Felton, I feel like he's the best actor of the child lot and no one really cares. I care, Tom. You and your weird shaped head were great.
All I could think though, all the way through, was WHY DID YOU CUT YOUR HAIR!? Emma Watson is clearly an idiot. Her hair was so nice and now she looks like a child whose blind father cut her hair.
What else? I don't know. I want to see it again now. I never want it to end. Roll on July...
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