Big Fat Gypsy Weddings

After unfortunately missing last night's triumphant return of Big Fat Gypsy Weddings due to a casual two hour power cut, I caught up this morning. Pure class contained within a 45 minute programme. Just excellent. My favourite line from the whole show was when the featured groom, Swanley, asked, "What's a non-racist word for Paki?" Genius.

Of course they go to Liverpool to get their dresses made. I'm sure most of them aren't a far stretch from what the seamstresses are asked to make on a day to day basis for an average Saturday night out. Oh, Liverpool, how I love and miss you so. My personal favourite was not the wedding dress with the transparent corset and flamenco style skirt with the thigh high slit and roses weighing 5 stone. No. My favourite was the pink dress made for the 7 year old girl for her first communion, based upon the classic Eddie Murphy move, 'Coming to America', that weighed twice the poor thing's body weight. Tragic. And all the other girls in their 'normal'/hideous white dresses all laughed at her. Slash, they were probably just jealous. The 7 year old inside of me is jealous. I would have loved to have a dress like that. Thankfully, my mother had taste, boundaries and not nearly enough money to waste on such a monstrosity. It was so tragic to see her try and walk in it. Good exercise though, perhaps I should get an outfit weighing double my body weight and wear it everyday as a workout tool...

What else did I enjoy...? Erm... The fact that girls go and hang out in carparks to get the attention of boys. Having said that, that's probably not that uncommon in everyday culture, I don't think it's just the gypsies. The fact that the groom was late to his wedding because instead of getting a lift with his mates/family, he decided to drive himself in a white Transit van. That was excellent. Luckily for him, the Hummer coming to pick up his bride was running later than he was. Phewww! What a relief.

I'll tell you what I enjoyed the most! The hen night. Oh, wow. Off they went to Lanzarote, the bride and her family of 10 to celebrate her last week as a free woman. This is not what I enjoyed. 'Twas the outfits that I enjoyed. I say outfits, they were more like scraps of material with tassels sown on them in tasteful places. Why do gypsies wear no clothes? I'll have to ask Cher Lloyd if I ever casually bump into her. She'll know. I'm also intrigued as to how they appear to all have so much money. How can they afford to pay for dresses like that and then a full on wedding for all their 55 children? And then they all go to Lanzarote?! I can't afford to go to Lanzarote by myself! Not that I'd want to, it's far too hot for my liking.