Black Swan

Well I'm more mentally disturbed than I ever hoped to be.

Wow.

The hype around this film worked me into an unhealthy frenzy. It's been advertised for so long now that I actually didn't think they were ever going to release it in the UK, just keep teasing us with all the award nominations and rubbish trailers. I got to the point where I had convinced myself it was going to be the best film I'd ever seen in my life. I then got to the point where I had convinced myself it was going to be the most disappointing film I'd ever seen. I was disappointed, but I can't quite put my finger on why. All I know is that I'm scared of turning my light off to go to sleep...

The beginning was slow, and I feel like the audience was expected to understand all the context surrounding Natalie Portman's character, Nina, without explaining anything. I saw The Nutcracker at the Liverpool Empire when I was about 6 and all I remember is being bored because there were no songs. That is the extent of my ballet knowledge. Oh, and Swan Princess is an excellent film and was based on Swan Lake. You get my point. So it would have been nice to have had a bit of her and her ballet before all the mind scrambling began. It was very boring to start with. Although you always had a sense that something was building, or that something was about to happen at any second, even though it didn't. I think going in expecting that level of tension put me more on edge than if I had gone in knowing nothing about it. But I was far from prepared.

Do you know what? I think it could have been done better. I think that the story itself needed longer to be fully explained, it was all quite squashed into the time, and there were bits I found irrelevant and bits that I wished had been taking into more detail, but realistically, it made the point. And it was great. The constant sense of paranoia; terrifying and claustrophobic and I put most of that down to Natalie Portman's performance, which definitely deserved the Golden Globe, and if it doesn't earn her an Oscar, I will actually eat my hand. She was un-freakin-believable. Her dancing was unreal. Unbelievable. I'm sure if you're a professional dancer, it's probably laughable, but she total dedicated herself to the role. I actually want to be a ballerina, even though I'm pretty sure that's not what the film was going for. And I hate Natalie Portman! She's irritated me in every single thing I've ever seen her in. She will always be Queen Amidala from Star Wars to me. And she deserves to not win the Oscar for making that dreadful film with Ashton Kutcher... But, wow.

The ending was where it was all at for me. When she kept seeing herself in other people throughout the film, I thought it was a bit too melodramatic, but the end, where all she saw was Mila Kunis, and she thought she had killed her. UNFREAKINBELIEVABLE! I loved it. That was the best bit of the film. I wanted the whole thing to be like that. I felt like they were trying to make all the metaphors too obvious at the beginning. Her transferring her frustrations and hatred of herself onto other people, therefore she would she 'herself' everywhere. Naaaaahhhh, twas better the other way, where you actually thought Mila was dead! So much more dramatic, and much more powerful. The only other bit that messed me up like that did was the bit... I'm sorry, I'm scaring myself thinking about it, it's a good job RuPaul's Drag Race is on to bring me back to reality... the bit when she got home and went into the kitchen, washed her hands, left and turned out the light and then heard a voice... Turning the light back on she finds herself drenched in blood standing in a corner... TOO MUCH! NO! MAKE IT STOP! Fuck, there is no way I'm sleeping tonight. I'm way too on edge. I only wish the people upstairs would insist on playing Vietnamese cover versions of Joy Division all night like they did last night... That would relax me slightly...

There were aspects I found comical that definitely weren't meant to be comical. Winona Ryder in general, but particularly the bit where she started stabbing herself in the face with a nail file. It was reminiscent of the cinematic classic, Frankenstein, directed, AND starring Kenneth Branagh, where he creates a mate for the monster, and she ends up setting herself on fire and throwing herself down the stairs. Shouldn't be funny, but it is. It most definitely is.

Darren Aronofsky is clearly a genius. I love that the majority of it was hand held, it was grainy and dull. It made the paranoia, the anxiety all the more real. Which, in hindsight, I don't really appreciate. Thanks, Darren... I'll send you the bill for the sleeping pills. But it makes me all the more angry that he didn't win Best Director at the Globes, and that the film didn't win Best Picture. Having said that, The Social Network did not fill me with a terror so deep I may never be able to turn off the lights or look in mirrors ever again.

I love Vincet Cassel. He was great. That is all I have to say about him. Mila Kunis was also great, but not that great. The mum was amazing. I'm genuinely filled with terror every time I think about her face. God, she was so creepy. AND THE NAIL SCISSORS! Oh, Christ. I've not let my mum cut my nails since I was about 5. It's all about the emery board. On the rare occasions I've had manicures/pedicures, I have point blanc refused to have them actually cut my nails... Poor Natalie Portman. Tragic. AND THE RASH! When the rash rippled through her skin, I thought it was quite poor visually, but I like the idea behind it. The swan taking over her. Nice. And when she finally 'grew' the feathers on stage, that was amazing. I feel like even though some things were physically portrayed too obviously, they made her fall into madness easy to follow. Although it was confusing, I never felt lost. I liked that. I feel cultured rather than stupid.

I don't really know what else to say. The ending made all the bits that annoyed me about it, or bits that I thought could have been better obsolete. It was the most phenomenal ending to the film. It was perfect. The more I think about it, the more breathtaking it actually was... So good! It's worth watching just for the end. Honestly. All I can add is this: Fuck you Golden Globes! The Academy know where it's at. Darren Aronofsky is going to physically destroy David Fincher and his average attempt at film making. However, I have yet to see The Fighter, so I'll let you know who's going to win best film...