Tuesday 5 October 2010

Dear Julian Baker of One Tree Hill Fame...

... If you actually did what we're led to believe you have done, I will be forced to commit a series of very serious crimes for which I will hold you solely accountable.
Love Alice.

Here's the deal. I am beyond bored of the Brooke/Julian (or if you prefer, Brulian) will they, won't they situation. We all know they're going to get back together, and just when I thought it was finally about to happen, Julian 'walks Alex back to her room', only for Brooke to walk into his room and find Alex naked in his bed. What the hell!? Surely he can't have done it, HE CAN'T HAVE DONE! God, this show is going to send me to an early grave. I don't even know why it stresses me out so much, it's not like it's even any good, but I just cannot accept that this has happened. That is why my thoughts are thus: Julian did not sleep with Alex and there appears to have been just some great misunderstanding. She was moaning about how she couldn't sleep in her room because of the patio furniture salesmen who were living it up big time, and so Julian, for the good of the film of course, offered to switch rooms with her or something. Then, Brooke, not knowing this, will be all like, "You know what, Julian, I was just beginning to think I could trust you again, but I guess I was wrong," and storm off, for him to follow her, explain his way out of it and then they'll have some hilariously over the top kiss with Hayley 'I'm so famous' Scott singing in the background. Excellent.

This might sound harsh, but are we really meant to care that Hayley's mum (whose name I do not know) is dying. I get that it's a sad situation, but seriously. She literally just turned up and we're meant to feel some sort of connection to her. Slash, when did Hayley have such a big family? I love that they just showed up out of nowhere and we're meant to believe that they've always been super close. Plus, Jamie is not cute enough anymore to make things sad. Sorry, but it's true. I swear they're slipping growth stunting substances into his bacon, ice cream and lard sandwiches.

But my favourite moment of the episode was, of course, when Brooke tried to convince the consierge at the hotel to let her have Julian's key and he was there reading all about their break-up in a celebrity gossip magazine! Lest us forget how famous they all are! And he was all like, "Oh, I'm such a big fan, I'm so glad you two are back together!" And Brooke was all like, "You can't always believe what you read in the papers!" It's so ridiculous! But I freakin' love it! I wonder whe Hayley's next album's out...

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