If One Direction don't win, we can say goodbye to the world as we know it.
"Farewell world! You have served us well, but now it is time for the aliens to have their turn as we all bow down to them and work tirelessly as their slaves. Thank you British Public for ruining everyone's lives. I'm actually really glad Wagner won."
Not going to happen.
After discussing at great length the implications of missing X Factor due to his concert, Brandon Flowers assured me that there was no other choice but to proceed as planned. I was hardly going to argue with someone with that face, and so I decided to suck it up and rely on the good old Sky+. The best, and worst, thing about this was that I was able to skip all the bits I really didn't care about. Therefore, I have no idea what the judges said to most of the contestants or what Wagner sang. And I skipped the end of Storm's as well. No one should sing The Boss. Let's be realistic.
I didn't realise how many contestants there actually are left. In my head, there should only be about 6, but alas, there I was thinking that Matt was about to come on and close the show, but no. Up pops Big Fat Mary, who was amazing by the way, but a bit samey. Of course, there was Bitchface Helmethead Katie, who I really don't care about. Careworker, 29/ Felicia's Brother/ Andy Abraham still boring the world to death. People need to realise, that once a song has been sung by Buble, your version is always going to reek of failure. Deal with it. Sing that one by All 4 One. You know, 'I swear, by the moooon and the staaars in the skyyyy..." That one. I can't even remember any of the others. But Bieber Boyband...
OH MY GOD! When Curly Bieber was so nervous he thought he was going to throw up and then he was crying and all the other Biebers gathered around him and were hugging him! So adorable! Poor Curly Bieber. He's so natural though. Unlike Other Bieber... But Asian Bieber looked so pretty and they were all just amazing and I love them and if they don't win it will be a travesty against humanity.
Slash, I am going to slam an axe through Louis Walsh's head. He's a dick. He drives me to the point of suicide. I hate him. And what's with the ever changing hair colour? He's clearly just trying to look more like Louis Walsh's son so that he can geg in on their success. Idiot.
Wagner and Careworker, 29 to go. Or else...
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