The main thing that bothered me is that it made me feel stupid. I get that Mark Zuckerberg is some sort of computer/math whizzkid with a stupid name, but I am a lowly student of the word and media, and therefore had no idea what the hell they were talking about a lot of the time. Algorithm was probably the only word I caught onto and that's only because I taught myself Rubix Cube from YouTube (I didn't even mean for that to rhyme - skills) and to do that you have to use 'algorithms'. Slash, I now wish that I could do coding; coding sounds cool. I like codes.
Here is what I have learnt from seeing The Social Network:
- Mark Zuckerberg is a tool - Obviously, there was acting involved, artistic license and all that but I'm pretty sure he is a giant tool. At times, I wanted to hug him. I don't like people being outcast, unless they totally deserve it of course, and at the beginning of the film, and a little towards the end, I felt sorry for him. Jesse Eisenberg has a slight Seth Cohen-esq manner when playing Zuckerberg, who I will now refer to as Goldberg because it's not as stupid and it reminds me of the Might Ducks. You know, you get that feeling that you want to help him not be such a dick but you know he's going to mess things up with his friends regardless. I still don't know if I actually quite like him, or if I just like Jesse Eisenberg. I think the latter. Goldberg seems to be one of those people that's so clever that he just can't interact with people, he's so intellectually above them, which makes the whole concept of Facebook itself amazingly ironic. It killed me that he just wanted to have friends, be popular for once. And I mean, it was funny when he was blunt with the lawyers, it was funny with his enemies, but when it came to Sean Parker, it was like, NOOOOOOOOOO! Which brings me nicely onto...
- Justin Timberlake cannot act - I love JT, he's a great singer, a great dancer, and he looks pretty a lot of the time, but let's be serious. I'm sure Sean Parker was that much of a dick, but I'm also pretty sure that Justin actually based his performance on his 15year-old self. Or at least his hair. I didn't know frosted tips were back! And the amount of make-up they put on his face, arghhh! Not cute. He was, unfortunately, the worst thing about the movie. You know what, maybe I should give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe his performance was just so accurate, I'm assuming he himself... No. I can't even finish that sentence. Listen, JT. FutureSex/LoveSounds came out about 12 years ago and I'm still waiting for the next album. Why don't you 'take a break' from 'acting' and lay down some beats?!
- Andrew Garfield is a babe - Oh my God, he is so cute. He reminds me of someone or something, perhaps a small woodland creature of sorts, but he is so adorable. And can I just say, black on black is a great look for him. Loves it. I don't think I have ever felt so sorry for anyone in my entire life. All I wanted to know at the end was if they made friends again, and I was left clueless. I'm going to assume they still aren't friends, and you know what, Eduardo is well to good for Goldberg. You don't try and sell out your friends tool! He tried so hard and looked so cute and it broke my heart when he cried! "I was your only friend..." OH MY GOD! HEARTBREAKING! It was just so sad when at the end, when Eduardo was having a go at Goldberg for telling his lawyers that he was charged with animal cruelty, and it turned out that he didn't! JUST BE FRIENDS! Slash, I'm sure the real Eduardo is totally over it and currently rolling around in a big pile of cash inside a room made of cash inside his house made of cold hard cash. Good.
I swear I read somewhere that neither Jesse Eisenberg or someone else never actually met the people they were to portray on screen. That seems weird to me, and if I were Goldberg, I would totally want to cash in on the film. But apparently, he's too big to be dealing with things like this. Tool. It must be so weird to have a movie made about the biggest event in your life without you having a say. Crazy.
Slash, I'm not having all this 'Oscar buzz'. The performances were great, Eisenberg and Garfield were fantastic and played the emotion, or lack there of, involved brilliantly. But truthfully, the only Oscar deserved would be for Aaron Sorkin, who made something with little to no plot so cleverly and subtly hilarious, and made it seem real. I know it is real, I'm not a retard, but something like inventing Facebook and becoming the youngest billionaire in the world ever is just so unthinkable to most people that the story could easily have been a work of complete and utter fantasy. But the characters speak like we speak. I actually leant over to my friend and screamed, "THEY SPEAK LIKE WE SPEAK!" It was so dry and witty. Witty is the perfect word. Well done Aaron.
I'm sorry, I don't quite feel satisfied with what I've said about Justin Timberlake. Does anyone understand what I mean? I just can't quite put my finger on why I can't take him seriously as an actor, and then he shows up with that hair! I know that Sean Parker actually has hair like that (well, I do now thanks to Google Images) but I think it was just the fact that circa 1999, JT actually had hair like that too. It was genuinely like some sort of Facebook/N Sync crossover, much like a Grey's Anatomy/Private Practice, Buffy/Angel kinda thing. Who knew Mark Zuckerberg was such a fan of 90s mainstream pop? I certainly didn't.
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