The reason I am never leaving the house again. Ever.

I love a murder mystery as much as the next person. In fact, I probably love a murder mystery a lot more than the next person. But they scare me. Not so much Midsomer Murders or Diagnosis Murder, although they are excellent examples of televisual genius. I'm talking about the ones that actually seem real. Whitechapel is such a murder mystery.
I am fully aware that Whitechapel was on on Monday and it is now Saturday, but I have recently returned to my native land of the North where our religious beliefs in Sky+ are not persecuted by the cool kids. And it was brilliant. I loved the first series, although it filled me with terror, but after a while, you forget about it. Now that it's back on, I swear on the life of my hamster (Chandler Bing 2005-2006 RIP) that I am never ever going out ever without some sort of presidential security. I don't want to be murdered! I mean, I know it's not real, and I know that this series is all about the Krays and getting revenge on those that gave evidence against them, and I don't think I fall into that category, but it puts you on edge. People are crazy. Like, properly weird. And people get murdered all the time for no reason! And now, thanks to Rupert Penry-Jones and his weird little rat-like friend, I am convinced that this will happen to me.
I am therefore making a plea. Don't ever let me join a gang. Ever. I'm not someone who is easily influenced by others, but I'm pretty sure if someone put a gun to my head, I'd do whatever they wanted me to do.
Anyway, back to the show. Although I find Rupert Penry-Jones' character a bit wet and his hair really irritates me, I love the way they use the tiniest slices of humour. DI Chandler is actually quite funny. It's a drama, no doubt about it, but they very cleverly and rarely lighten the mood, I'm guessing, to avoid wimps like me from barricading themselves in their houses, without loosing any credibility. I think that deserves a round of applause. But it makes me so sad that he gets bullied! It literally makes me want to cry. When he was walking up the stairs and the uniformed officer slapped the papers out of his hands! It was heart-breaking. And when they knocked the wing-mirror off his car! Who does that!? I can't deal with people being mean to people who don't deserve it. Louis Walsh deserves it. DI Chandler does not.
Slash, I love that Deborah from Spiceworld is in it. And all I could think was, you're meant to be organising the Spice Bus, what are you doing messing with dead bodies. Get back to work!
I'm actually really excited for the next episode, and I wish that the series was longer, but I think it's quite clever of them to keep it short, it doesn't drag out too much, doesn't get boring. I might even re-watch it. That's high praise. It's actually hard to make comment on shows that are good. I think it could have been better; there wasn't much tension, but I know that it's coming. And that anticipation is what makes it so good.
How much do you think a bodyguard would cost..? I think I'd even take Kevin Costner...